How-to Not Screw Up Your Children!

I came across this quote today and it touched me to the depthss of my soul.

“To my children, I’m sorry for the unhealed parts of me that in turn hurt you. It was never a lack of love for you. Only a lack of love for myself.”

Teresa Shanti

Parenting may be the most difficult job in the world. It doesn’t come with an instruction manual - there are no classes to take! In my opinion, there should be a course titled, “How not to screw up your children!” I’m a firm believer in “when we know better, we do better!” Unfortunately, this wisdom usually comes with age and a whole lot of self-development. By this time, most of our children are grown and the damage is done.

I’m not saying we consciously damage our children, most of the issues come from our own lack of self-knowledge and self-healing. I think sometimes we project our own childhood drama and unresolved issues unintentionally onto our children.

 I believe to truly connect with our child we must first be aware of our own unresolved issues. If we don’t go inward and work on ourselves then we project outwards, many times, onto our children. When we’re mindful, we’re aware of what we need to address in ourselves. When we’re mindless, we tend to overreact toward our children.

Doing the work is tough! I get it! But if we don’t do the work and parent ourselves first, then we tend to project the absence of this onto our children, in other words, we demand and expect more. So, the question becomes, “What are you willing to do to heal any of your own unresolved issues?” What steps will you take toward self-healing and self-love? Are you willing to do the work for your children? Doing the inner work is necessary for a healthy relationship with your child.

The best way to parent is to be present. This is where real connection happens. Once we have addressed our own unresolved issues, we’re able to truly connect with our children in the present moment. That means accepting the moment for what it is, demonstrating how to enjoy the ordinary moments, being a conscious listener to your child, and teaching them that it’s ok to feel every emotion (whether that’s joy, happiness, pain, or frustration) without feeling guilty or judging themselves. Life is what it is! Challenging, difficult, easy, stressful, joyful…the list goes on. Just allowing each of us to be in the “flow” makes life more tolerable. 

I love Dr. Shefali’s quote:

“Life is to be experienced as is, not about being happy.”

Our role as a conscious parent is to first heal any of our own unresolved issues. Once that happens, we will be better at remaining present and with this comes connection. When we’re connected, we bring back the joy of a parent-child relationship. Our attention is the greatest gift we can give our children!

Until next time…

Why I Wrote Empowering our Future!

From the time I was a young girl, I was in love with children of all ages - including babies. Naturally, my first job was babysitting. I loved everything about kids and I always wanted to be a mom! I actually wanted 6 boys (I know, crazy right?)

While pursuing my university education, I worked in daycares. It was the only summer or part-time job I ever had during my 5 years of university.

After graduation, I immediately started working in the education system. My time in Saskatchewan allowed me to work with a diverse range of needs, including medical, behavioural, hearing, visually impaired and so on. From there, we moved to Alberta, and I continued working in the same field.

Throughout these 20 years, I noticed an increase in stress, anxiety, worries, and fears, and a decrease in self-esteem and self-awareness - this was before the pandemic. At that time, very little formal education addressed these issues. We seemed to teach children about everything; except themselves. Because I too had lived with many of these issues most of my life, I became very empathetic towards their needs. This is when I knew I had to do everything I could to provide strategies for kids, teachers, parents, and caregivers to help with mental and emotional well-being!

I started my journey by becoming certified as a child meditation facilitator and continued to educate myself in the health and wellness field. I began teaching “Empowerment classes” both in and out of the education system to children and youth, meditation classes for adults, stress workshops in the corporate world. I spoke at conferences for teachers and support staff. The last program I developed was a sport and mental preparation course, which I have taught in private sessions, small groups, and teams - ranging from novice to elite competitors.

Throughout this time, I began thinking about writing a book with a focus on this much-needed area. After teaching these classes for over 15 years and seeing how impactful the strategies and exercises were, I knew I needed to reach a larger audience. This is how Empowering our Future came to life! I put everything I had learned and taught into a book!

With mental health disorders on the rise within the younger generation, how do we help children and youth cope with worries, fears, and anxieties? “Empowering our Future,” is a guide to strategies and techniques for parents, teachers, caregivers, and coaches to help children thrive in today’s world. The book provides exercises, activities, worksheets, and meditations to help assist with:

-          Managing stress and anxiety, both the mental and physical symptoms

-          Providing meditations to help let go of fears and transition into a peaceful night’s sleep

-          Boosting self-esteem and self-awareness

-          Helping children understand their emotions and communicate them in a healthy way

-          Preparing athletes and teams to be mentally strong so their probability for success increases

I will continue to be an advocate for children’s mental health. I believe that it’s so important that our youth are educated about their mind and heart. We must all do whatever we can to build resilient youth. After all, they are our future!!

Until next time…

Tips for Parents During Back-to-School Transitions

September is a challenging time of year for many parents and youth. Parents are tasked with back-to-school transitions. Our kids have been off their usual schedule and basically had no routine for the last couple of months. The return to school is usually accompanied by a variety of emotions and behaviours. (For parents too, HA) Regardless, it’s a significant change.

With quieter children, it’s sometimes difficult to know if your child is having a hard time with this transition. A good rule of thumb is to think about how your child typically reacts when stressed, and look for those behaviours. For example, headaches and stomach aches are indicators of anxiety, so be aware if they start having them more frequently.

What can we, as parents and caregivers, do to help this transition go as smoothly as possible? How can we support our children and youth at the end of the day when they crash and burn?

With younger children, it’s sometimes difficult to express big emotions. Typically, these are the times after school when they lash out or have tantrums - hitting and kicking may be a part of it. It’s important to let them know that some things are OK and some things are not OK in terms of behaviour. We can tell them that it’s OK to be upset, mad, or scared and let them know how important it is to feel their emotions, but physical harm is not OK anytime.

With youth and teens, it’s not as easy to recognize what’s going on. They generally keep to themselves and are not as eager to share. I’ve found when you pry, ask too many questions, or want to know everything; it usually makes things worse. Of course, every teen is different, so it depends on how they handle things in general. Depending on the child, giving them some space can be good, but we can still always say things like, “You know I’m around. I’ll be in my bedroom if you want to talk.” As long as we keep reassuring them that we’re here for them, they will reach out when they feel comfortable.

I think it’s imperative to have honest and open discussions with them. If they’re apprehensive about returning to school, ask them what they’re worried about. Then, provide emotional support with strategies such as deep breathing and affirmations.

It’s also important to point out the positives when they’re in a negative cycle. It’s always fun to give a name to the negativity. In my classes, we’ll name our worries or fears “Negative Nellie,” which seems to ease some of their worries and turn their thought process around.

Listening and validating are also key. If your child reaches out and says they’re struggling, be sure to consciously listen and give them your undivided attention. If we show empathy and compassion, it’ll help to make them feel understood; then we can introduce problem-solving skills that will help them face their fears. We can work together to identify a few possible solutions and then let them pick which one they think would work best! If this solution doesn’t work, then try a different one!

When we drop our children off or see them to the bus, we must remain calm. Make sure we have a relaxed face, body, and calming voice. If they feel we are at ease, they'll conclude that it must be a safe and protected place for them.

Lastly, routine, rules, and boundaries at home are critical. If a child doesn’t have a regular bedtime or get the proper amount of sleep, it’ll be difficult for them to cope with anything. A bedtime meditation is a perfect way to transition them into a peaceful night’s sleep.

To all the parents and caregivers out there, you got this! Thanks for reading, and I hope there was at least 1 thing you could take away!

Until next time…love to all!

Classroom Strategies to support mental and emotional well-being

The middle of August is here! I know there are many teachers thinking about the start of the school year. Their minds are filled with questions regarding the numbers of students, varying needs, schedules, and classroom set-up. For teachers, the middle of August is often accompanied by tension and fear of the unknown.

All of these worries are a part of a teacher’s life. Not to mention how classroom dynamics have shifted  since the pandemic hit. Although things seem to be settling down a bit, I believe we’re not through it yet. As most kids return to school in September, there are bound to be many more responsibilities put upon our teaching staff.

Mental and emotional support for our youth will be the front runner. Not only will staff be responsible for the academic and physical needs, they also will have to be aware of our kid’s mental health! Talk about a lot of responsibility.

After everything we’ve been through the last few years, how do we help our young generation cope with worries, fear, and anxiety? How do we support this struggling generation as they improve their self-esteem, self-awareness and form better connections? We must provide teachers, parents, caregivers, and coaches with strategies and techniques to help children thrive in today’s world!

I believe there are certain exercises and strategies that teachers can implement into their daily classroom routine that would help kids to understand themselves better and provide a calmer classroom environment. The best thing about these exercises is they help to form connection and compassion. I believe compassion is the foundation for uniting humanity. So, let’s be a part of the village needed to raise compassionate youth!

Here are some strategies you may like to try. They are easy to incorporate and take only 15 minutes of your day! I guarantee that if you implement these strategies into your daily teaching routine, your teaching day will be smoother, calmer, and much more enjoyable!

1.       Begin the day with breathing. Have kids sit at their desks or their tables and just breathe. For younger kids, you can start with 1- 2 minutes; as they get comfortable with it, you may like to increase the time. Older kids can begin with 2-3 minutes. If you want, you can put on relaxing music in the background. This is an excellent tool to get the kids grounded and centered, as well, release anything that may have happened at home or on the way to school that hasn’t been a positive start to their day.

2.       Incorporate gratitude and affirmations into their daily writing activities or journal exercises. One day you can do gratitude, and then switch it up to affirmations the next day. Have them write out 3-5 affirmations and then continue with their writing assignment. Here are some examples.

                                   I am brave, I am kind, I am enough

                                   I am grateful for who I am because…

                                   I am grateful for school because…

You get the picture! It instantly changes their energy and increases their self-esteem. There are many more examples of gratitude exercises and affirmations in my book, Empowering our Future!

3.       After lunch, read them out loud a 5–10-minute meditation. (Again, depends on the age) If you're uncomfortable with the word meditation, call it guided imagery or visualization - whatever works for you. This is an excellent way to get them focused and centered after lunch recess, and will make your afternoon run a lot more smoothly. There are meditations available in my book and on my website. Meditation is the number 1 tool for self-regulation, and kids love to meditate. It lights up their imaginations and allows them to be creative! It is also a wonderful way for teachers to connect with their students!

4.       Lastly, at the end of the day as students are walking out the door, ask them to tell you a “joy moment.” Let them tell you one thing that happened throughout the day that brought them joy. You can do this as a group activity, or individually on their way out. It lets them leave on a positive note and reminds them that you care!

I have been teaching these strategies to children, youth, and adults for over 15 years. I can promise you that when they’re practiced consistently, it changes everything. Kids become more aware of their feelings and are able to communicate them in a healthy way. They help with worries and fears, increase self-esteem and self-love and always, form better connections.

In this blog, I touched briefly on these tools. I go into much more detail and provide more activities, exercises, meditations and worksheets in my book, “Empowering our Future.” I just wanted to provide teachers with some resources that they can start the year off with that will help to build a calm classroom environment. The best part of all, it would only take 15 minutes out of the day! My book is available through the link below!

www.wendydemer.com

To all the teachers and support staff out there, good luck in September. You are my heroes and “you got this!”

Until next time…enjoy the rest of your summer!

Summer Holidays Here We Come!

My blog this week is short and sweet, since we're leaving for summer holidays on Thursday! Yahooooo! As some of you know, leaving for a 19-day camping trip requires a lot of preparation, packing, and planning! I really wish I was the kind of girl who flew by the seat of her pants and was spontaneous, but no such luck.

When we’re on holiday, it’s important to me that we go somewhere we’ve never been before. I believe there’s so much beauty in the world, and I want to see as much of it as possible. So, this year we are headed to the unknown! I won’t bore you with the details, but I promise to post pictures on my social media.

When our kids were younger, I looked forward to our annual camping trips all year. It provided endless opportunities to connect, spend time together, and figure out what was happening in our children’s little hearts. Nature has a way of exposing our vulnerabilities, opening doors for communication, and giving us a floodgate to open our hearts so we can better express our emotions and feelings; this all leads to connection. No words can describe the joy, adventures, and happy times we shared while camping as a family! Yes, I miss these times dearly, if you can’t tell.

I’m very excited to have a break from work! Even when you're passionate about what you do, it’s essential to “unhook.” Especially when you have to be on social media daily. Having a “time out” from all electronic devices is so important. It allows you to gain inspiration, reconnect to your creativity and inner child, and open up the artistic portal. It’s easy to lose ourselves when we’re focused on our jobs, caring for others, and spiralling down the social media rabbit hole. Yes, you know who you are - we all do it!

I hope you all have time this summer for self-care - that you can spend some time in nature and “unhook.” Life is precious, and I’m so grateful for every minute I’m here! Let’s enjoy it as much as we can.

So, as my step-dad always says, “goodbye please!” I will be offline for a few weeks, except for sharing some of our trip's highlights. To all of you reading this, be present this summer with your children as much as possible. Being outside in nature is a great way to experience this.  As I always say, “The best way to parent is being present!”

Until next time…happy summer!

Self-Confidence and Women

As a woman, I have struggled with confidence most of my life. Women seem to be more prone to negativity related to body image, success, love, and more. Research shows that a woman’s confidence level increases with age. I know this has been true for me.

I had terrific parents and others who consistently told me I was intelligent, pretty, and valued. But, for some reason, I struggled with low self-esteem and confidence for most of my life. Why is this?

I have done a lot of soul searching and research in this area. I have worked on myself daily through self-development and spiritual awareness. I feel spirituality is knowing thyself, and I will continue to work on self-growth and development for the rest of my life. I still have negative thoughts surrounding self-esteem and self-confidence. The difference is now I’m aware of these thoughts, and I can tell them to “fuck off!”

As women, we seem to pick out our negative qualities and seldomly acknowledge the good ones. We focus on others’ opinions and judgements instead of our own. Society has deemed youth as beautiful. So, the minute we start showing a smile line here, a wrinkle there, or spot a gray hair, we start feeling less confident. This is bullshit. There is beauty at every age. Sure, I can tell you that beauty comes from within, but seriously? It isn’t easy to believe this with images of beautiful women all over. If you’re not a specific size, a certain age, or a particular look, you’re not worthy; this is what they seem to be telling us.

The most important thing we can do as women is surround ourselves with other women who build us up, support us, encourage us, and act as our biggest cheerleaders. We need a tribe of women who will accept and be there for us, regardless of where we are in our lives and what we are trying to improve. Women supporting women is what the world desperately needs right now. I have learned the best thing I can do for me, is not be around anybody who threatens the love and acceptance I now have for myself.

If you find yourself alone and do not have a community of women like this around you, there are many different networks, podcasts, or groups out there to help you. This week, I was fortunate enough to be a guest on a podcast, Confidence in Bloom. The network that this is a part of is, Divas that care. Many different podcasts are available that help women discover themselves and build the confidence they need to live the life they imagined.

Here is the link to check them out!

Divas That Care Network

If you are interested in listening to my latest podcast on this network, here it is!

Divas That Care Network- Click here to listen to this episode

To all of the amazing, caring, strong women out there, I salute you - you are doing a wonderful job. You are perfect as you are, right now, in this minute. Yes, you can be working on things to be healthier; self-improvement, building a business, or working towards your dreams, but know that no matter where you are - right now - you are enough!!

Until next time…you are enough!

Family Activities to Initiate Connection & Support Mental Well-being!

Schools out for summer!! (Is anyone reading this old enough to remember that Alice Cooper song?) While I was working in the schools, I'd walk home that last day in June singing this song on repeat!

With the summer holidays approaching, I know that many parents struggle to find activities they can engage in with their children. There are many summer options for children, including camps, outdoor activities, sports, etc. But, what about activities that we can do with our children together? Activities that help us connect with our child and initiate building self-esteem and self-awareness? I think it’s important that we partake in activities that support their mental and emotional well-being together as a family.

I’m sure many of you think these activities won’t interest your kids or they'll find them boring. I assure you that this is not the case. Not only do kids enjoy these exercises, but it also helps prepare them better to thrive in today’s world. Kids enjoy them so much because they get to spend time with their parents, and this provides the opportunity for them to be heard. All our kids ever want is love and someone who will consciously listen.

One activity that kids enjoy is going for a walk with their caregivers. We must put our phones away, concentrate on the beauty surrounding us, and avoid being consumed with our thoughts. This lends the opportunity to be present through mindfulness. Begin by focusing on the five senses. Listen together, intently to the birds singing, the water tumbling over a stone, or the sound of the wind. Pay close attention to the beads of dew on the grass, the texture of bark on a tree, and the shape or pattern of veins on leaves. Watch the birds or squirrels in the trees; animals are a great way to reconnect us with nature. Use your sense of touch - we can touch the grass, feel the soft silk of flower petals, and run our palms over tree bark. The opportunities to practice mindfulness in nature are endless. Practicing mindfulness together is a great way to connect and often leads to discussions about what may be troubling them.

Another great activity to do together is practicing affirmations and turning it into an art project! Buy a journal or recipe cards, sit together, write out affirmations, and then decorate the card. Affirmations are a strategy to stop negative thoughts and shift the focus onto our positive attributes. I’ve seen many kids' and adults’ self-esteem soar with the regular use of affirmations. I recommend keeping the cards or journal beside their bed. They can say them at night before they go to bed and in the morning. Some examples of affirmations are:

I am safe

I believe in myself

I am enough

I am brave

I have courage and confidence

I love and approve of myself

Please make sure you recite them together; it can be so much fun! Kids emulate our behavior- if they see us speaking positive words, they will follow!

One of the greatest gifts we can give both kids, and ourselves, is gratitude. Gratitude instantly changes our energy. It can take us from a place of worry or fear to a peaceful, safe feeling. We can bring gratitude into children’s daily lives in many ways. We can go around the dinner table and say what we were thankful for from the day. Make it part of your child’s bedtime routine. A wonderful family activity is decorating gratitude journals. Write in it daily, and once a month, have each member read out some of the things they were grateful for that month.

Practicing meditation together is crucial for our overall health. There are many ways we can do this. We can sit together on the floor and breathe. Focusing on our breath as it goes in and out. You can have soft, relaxing music playing in the background. Depending on the child's age, this may be anywhere from 3 to 15 minutes long. We can do this anytime throughout the day when we feel that we need a mental break. Playing a guided meditation before bed is so beneficial. It allows us to release the day's fears and worries and transition into a peaceful night’s sleep. I have free guided meditations on my website, and many more are available on YouTube.

All of the strategies I talked about today were just briefly touched on. My book, Empowering our Future, goes into much more detail. It includes a variety of exercises, worksheets, meditations, and strategies to help our kids improve self-esteem and self-awareness and form better connections. If we implement these tools into our children’s daily lives, they will be better equipped to manage their challenges; whether that's building relationships or coping with worry, fear, stress, or anxiety. It’s about providing them with the tools to enhance mental and emotional well-being, which builds resilient youth!

If you are interested in purchasing my book, click on the link below!

www.wendydemer.com

Until next time…Summer here we come!!

Walking to Maintain Spiritual Balance

Walking has been a part of my life since I began my spiritual journey. When we walk, we awaken to the world. We listen and become aware of the environment’s sights and sounds. Walking brings us to the present moment.

Many benefits come from walking, both physical and psychological. Each step we take fires off endorphins and alters our body chemistry towards the positive. We can walk off a bad mood and find things to be grateful for.

For me, not only does a daily walk help me stay healthy, but it’s also a source of creative inspiration. I use walking as both a creative tool and a way to maintain spiritual balance. Walking clears my mind and gives me new ideas!

Walking has given me a direct line to God; this has helped me connect to my higher self and my spiritual helpers, who act as messengers. I receive insights and hunches; intuition comes to me, and ideas that are not my own. Once I got into the habit of walking, I found myself consciously listening to the higher realms.

Walking has led me home to my authentic self.  I have become aware of the thoughts I tell myself and have become able to distinguish between the truth and lies. I hear the emotions behind the words, and emotions don’t lie.

I realize this isn’t a new concept. For centuries, spiritual seekers and artists have used walking for quests and creative recovery. Walking has long been used to connect to the divine, whoever your higher power may be! Walking stretches our minds and spirits. I’m hoping that I can help you to see walking from a different perspective!

The most important thing to remember to make the most of your spiritual walk is: no dog, no cell phone, no headphones and no friends. This is an opportunity for you to connect to your thoughts and your “God.” I sometimes use it as a way to talk to God. I’ll ask a question before I set out, and most times, I return with an answer. We can use this time to listen, ask for guidance, air our dirty laundry, or express gratitude.

So, get on out there! Lace up your shoes and walk for 20 minutes a couple of times a week! Let yourself connect with the world around you. I promise you will return in a much better mood and optimistic about what life is all about! Above everything else, you will get to know yourself, and isn’t that what spirituality is all about?  - knowing thyself!

One of my favorite quotes:

Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.

                                                                  THICH NHAT HANH

Until next time…Walk – and especially walk if you don’t have time!

Parenting Negative self-Talk

Self-talk can be defined as our ongoing internal monologue. It’s a person’s inner voice and the inner critic that we hear on a daily basis. It can be positive or negative, but the good news is we can reprogram negative self-talk.

Negative self-talk can originate from a variety of places. Often, negative self-talk develops from our experiences as a child or things we were told at a young age, for example:

“You’re being selfish.”

“Do as your told.”

“Stop crying!”

“Don’t be so sensitive.”

“Behave yourself!”

These types of messages can negatively impact a child’s confidence and self-esteem. It may influence the thoughts they develop as they grow older unless they’re shown how to change fear-based thoughts to good-feeling thoughts.

Our thoughts create our life experiences. If you want to change your life, begin with your thoughts. The greatest skill we can master is the ability to control our thought patterns. This is not an easy task, and it takes practice. We must choose thoughts that elicit peace, love, and harmony. I love Mahatma Gandhi’s quote:

“What he thinks, he becomes.”

It’s so valuable to instill good-thought habits early in life. Children model the behaviour around them. So, when teaching children the power of self-talk, we must begin with ourselves. What do we talk about in the presence of kids? The best way to teach our youth to have a healthy relationship with their thoughts is by being aware of the words we speak.

One of the ways to improve self-talk is by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness assists in helping us identify the destructive words we say to ourselves. It helps us become aware of our thinking process and become more aware of our judgemental thoughts. Recognizing the words we say to ourselves is the first step to changing our internal dialogue. I’ve found that often kids are not aware of their negative self-talk. Sometimes it has been with them for so long it becomes a part of their reality. Consequently, it manifests in all areas of their lives. This is where mindfulness techniques come in. We have to teach them to be fully present in this moment. Mindfulness is the catalyst to becoming aware of your self-talk.

Making kids aware of how their self-talk affects their beliefs, emotions, and feelings is the first step. The second step is learning to identify self-talk in different situations. Once they’re aware, we can give them tools to combat the negative thought patterns and, in doing so, increase their self-esteem and confidence.

My book, “Empowering our Future,” has many different tools that help kids identify their internal dialogue and many tools that aid in teaching mindfulness to our youth. Mindfulness is also an excellent tool for worry, stress reduction, and anxiety. My book is a guide for parents, teachers, and professionals that provides strategies and techniques to help children thrive in today’s world! For more information, go to:

www.wendydemer.com

Until next time…observe your thoughts!!

Parenting Emotions and Feelings

There are many different techniques available that aid in helping children understand and manage big emotions. For my blog today, I will be discussing how meditation helps in this area.

Life can be a difficult process for the young. Trying to understand the attitudes or actions of others can be challenging for them. It’s impossible to know their worries because they don’t always have the ability to tell us. They may find it difficult to express their feelings or speak of their concerns.

Kids need to feel secure. By this, I don’t mean the security that comes from having particular things or having people around – security is not about possessions or being dependent on someone else. Instead, it’s the sense of security that comes from feeling good about one’s self; being secure within. We can achieve this by knowing ourselves, and this deep sense of security can be gained through meditation. 

Meditation is not a heavy word; there is a lightness to it. It allows the mind to wander, be at peace, and be free. We go within ourselves where we find peace and tranquility. We often find answers to our problems and a release of feelings or emotions that no longer serve us.

 We all want the best for our children – we’ve prepared them for the world, both good and bad. We have to not only care for their mind and body but for their spirits as well.

Meditation helps kids to nourish their body, mind, and spirit. Meditation allows us to go deep within the self. Kids are very receptive; this is why meditation and kids go together perfectly. They are open and non-judgemental to the experience.

The meditations that I write for kids use guided imagery and creative visualization. This allows them to use their imaginations, form images, and let their creativity soar. I believe creativity in any form is so healthy for youth. It is an excellent outlet for emotions and feelings.

I’ve been teaching meditation to children for over 15 years. Throughout this time, I’ve found it to be the best tool for helping kids understand their thoughts and feelings and move through them without getting stuck. Not only does it help with self-awareness, but it also increases self-esteem and self-love. Kids need to learn how to befriend their emotions, feel them, and understand what they are trying to tell them; meditation helps with all of this. Emotions need to be felt and understood to process them.

By teaching kids to meditate at a young age, we're teaching them that security lies within. I believe this helps prepare them for life with an added advantage. If we encourage kids to meditate, it will help to change the world. We will have more well-adjusted and content adults.

I have various meditations addressing different issues in my book, Empowering our Future. It’s available through Amazon and Kobo, or there is a direct link on my website. I also have a few free meditations for kids and adults available on my website. I’ll post the link below to my free meditations.

Meditations — Wendy Demer

Until next time…encourage kids to meditate!!

Living in Cochrane: A 5 Month Update!

My move to Cochrane was accompanied by a lot of stress and anxiety. We were leaving our hometown after 16 years! This meant leaving friends that had become our family and were actually the only family we had there—leaving a job that I adored and, most importantly, leaving our daughter! Yes, we have a son too (who I miss equally as much), but he’s been living away from us for quite some time. I love them both equally - no favourites here (I know they read these blogs!)

As we waved goodbye to the charming town we once called home and began our 3.5-hour drive to Cochrane, there were definitely tears in my eyes. So many memories, laughs, love, and history was shared in this town. Our children basically grew up there! I had no idea what our new city would be like; thoughts such as “would we make friends, would I find work, would it be welcoming?” filled my mind. But, I do have to admit, I was a little excited too! I find great joy in the unknown!

We chose Cochrane because I have been a mountain girl most of my life! I find great solace and peace when I’m around them. I love hiking, nature, wildlife, rivers, trees, and small towns! So, what better place to move to than here! Seriously, what could go wrong? I’ll feel like I’m on holidays every day!

When we pulled in and saw the mighty Bow, the mountains, ravines, and walking paths, I was sure that we had made the right choice! We drove up to our new place on the edge of the ravine, and it took my breath away! So many trees and natural beauty everywhere! Being a prairie girl, living beside the mountains was like a dream come true! I felt that we had picked the perfect spot in Cochrane for us! Now I know there are many “perfect” places to live in Cochrane.

Although mountains, nature, and location were high on my list, the community was also important. I grew up (and lived most of my life) in small towns. Cochrane seemed a bit too big for me! But let me tell you, although Cochrane is a larger center, it definitely has a small-town vibe.

It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing; people always say hi! Everyone in the neighborhood waves to you as you drive in and out! The dogs are equally as friendly, and omg, I have never lived anywhere with so many dogs - this also says a lot about the people here! Between shopping, appointments, restaurants, and walking, I’ve discovered that Cochrane has some of the friendliest people I’ve ever met!

I’m so looking forward to the days to come! Hopefully, with the warm summer days and the ability to be outside more, we will have the opportunity to meet others! We’re excited to attend events and festivals, enjoy the food trucks, and participate in all local activities! Look out, Cochrane…here we come!

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for welcoming us into your charming, historic town! You’re warm, welcoming attitudes have made the transition much easier. Your acceptance has helped this girl embrace a new way of life!

I’m looking forward to all the new people we will meet, our adventures, and the friendships we will form! I promise to say hi to all of you the next time I’m out!

Until we meet…thank you!

Mental Health Week – Seeing the World as Others do May 2 – 8, 2022

For mental Health Week this year, #GetReal, it’s all about how to help; with the emphasis on empathy. Empathy can be defined as:

“Empathy is the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in their situation.”

It’s a simple concept, but I believe it’s what the world is lacking most. If we could see humans through the eyes of those who are different than us, it would help to unite humanity. It’s clear that all anyone wants is to feel seen and heard; without judgement.

Empathy…for some of us it comes easier than others. The good news is; it can be learned and practiced. Empathy is not only about helping others it’s also an emotion that can help us know ourselves better and our own feelings. It leads to connection with others, helps us communicate and support our peers.

One way we can practice being empathetic is by becoming conscious listeners. How can we become active listeners? It really is the art of attention. Listening is done with more than our ears. We must be aware of our partner’s tone, body language and understanding the intention beneath the words. If we use our intuition there’s very often a different message then their words convey. How many times have we asked a loved one how they are doing and they respond with, “I’m fine,” yet, their tone and body language conveys a different message?  

When we listen with our heart rather than our intellect, we can identify with our partner’s truth. When we listen with our heart, we practice empathy, which is the secret ingredient in truly understanding others.

When we are showing someone empathy it’s not about what we feel, think, or see as the right thing to do. Rather, it’s about trying to put ourselves in their shoes. It’s important to avoid giving advice or your opinion right away and instead focus on what they are saying and feeling. It’s not about you!

Another great way to increase empathy is by practicing mindfulness. This is being aware, paying attention on purpose, and being in the present moment, in a non-judgemental way.

Lastly, we want to listen to understand, not to judge. We don’t need to find a solution for someone’s problems in order to help them. Difficult emotions can’t be fixed. All we can do is be there, accept them, sit with them through their hard times and difficult emotions while they try and find ways to work through their rough time.

Many times, it’s difficult for us because we don’t know what to say. Empathy is not about our opinions or what we would have done differently. If we’re thinking about ourselves; we are not truly listening. Instead, tune into the other person, and instead of trying to find the perfect thing to say, make sure you are showing empathy. All they need is someone to show they care.

If someone you know is struggling with stress, anxiety or difficult times, the best thing you can do is be empathetic. To do this we must be present, listen closely, understand from their perspective. If we can understand what they need or how we can help, this is what empathy is all about!

If you are interested in more information regarding Mental health week and spreading empathy please visit:

www.mentalhealthweek.ca

Until next time…practice empathy

I Can’t Meditate - It’s Too Difficult!

This is the most common statement I hear from my clients. Followed by, “I don’t have time, it doesn’t work for me, my mind is too busy.” When adults enter a class and tell me this, I instantly know that they’re the ones that would benefit from meditation the most!

Meditation is both art and science. It links us with the divine mind while healing the mind and body. It’s a journey of self-discovery that restores us on so many levels.

Our society suffers from a variety of health issues. Adrenal burnout is an epidemic. It doesn’t matter where you are; you’ll always hear someone talking about a lack of sleep, how tired they are, worries, stress - these are all valid complaints. We all live busy, stressful lives. Because of this, self-care is imperative! We must find tools that will help decrease the stress in our lives. Meditation is just one of those tools.

One of the most common issues people face is that they can’t slow down their minds or quiet their thoughts. I commonly hear, “the mind chatter doesn’t stop.” When you meditate, you should never be concerned with clearing your mind. The thoughts will come and go; this is perfectly normal. You just want to avoid becoming attached to those thoughts. When your mind drifts to thoughts, emotions, or noises in the environment, gently bring it back to your breath or mantra. Meditation is not about forcing your mind to be quiet; instead, it’s a process to rediscover the quietness that already exists.

Another tip for when you first begin to meditate is to let go of expectation! Every meditation experience will be different. There is no such thing as a bad meditation. Even if your meditation is filled with mind chatter, you’ll still benefit from it.

Meditation requires discipline, but it will produce immense benefits in your daily life as you incorporate it. Continue to make it a part of your daily routine, and you will notice the benefits. These include improved health and decreased stress levels; you’ll become more relaxed, perceptive, and creative.

If you’re interested in group meditation classes, would like to do a session for your employees, or have me come out a speak at one of your functions, please feel free to email at wendy@wendydemer.com

Until next time…find stillness

Sport and Mental Preparation

Sport psychology is an integral part of the training program for most professional athletes. I believe that you can have all the physical ability in the world, but mental strength can make or break your performance. Mental prep should not only be for elite athletes but also novice and everything in-between!

I have taught sport and mental prep to athletes, teams, individual athletes, and performers for years. I’m not a sports psychologist, nor am I trained in that area. My program is based on strategies and techniques that I am trained in. Some of these include: breathwork, affirmations, centering, visualization, self-talk, goal-setting, and focus plans. I’ve developed a program that consists of:

Pre-Game Mental Strategies

- This section helps to identify how energized or relaxed you are before the competition and determines ways to change that state.

- Develops pre-competition rituals

- Teaches how to prevent or break negative feelings

- Provides technique to break negative self-talk and control negative emotions

 The whole point of pre-game strategies is to do and think the right things to help get you into your ideal performance state.

1)      In-Game Mental Strategies

-          This section provides ways to keep us in our ideal performance state if something goes wrong

-          We develop a competition focus plan

-          Provides techniques we can use for external or internal distractions

-          Develops a refocus statement

-          Locates focal points to use for centering and releasing negativity

 Example: Baseball is a game of failures. You strike out, walk people; it’s just part of the game. But, how you react to these failures is what sets you apart; it’s what determines your success.

2)      Post-Game Mental Strategies

-          This section discusses what our self-talk should be after the competition

-          Incorporates visualization techniques

-          Teaches characteristics of peak performers

-          Develops short/long term goals

3)      Mental Imagery Training

-           In this section we learn the 4 elements involved in mental imagery

-           Participants write their own personal imagery scripts.

What we see, is what we get!

These strategies help competitors stay relaxed under pressure and teaches them the ability to focus on what’s important and block everything else out. It’s about being able to quickly rebound after a mistake or bad call, and how to handle self-doubt and negative thinking. We will also learn about self-motivation and how to have a “go for it” attitude!

During my years of teaching this program I have witnessed great success. I saw a female hockey team playing in a boy’s league transition from last place in the league to finishing second after implementing my strategies. I've helped a dancer who was dealing with bad anxiety get back on the stage after a fall, helped a body builder competing in Nationals rank among the top 3, and helped a musician who suffered from performance anxiety get back on the stage. I have also worked with figure skaters, swim teams, baseball teams, and cheer teams. I have seen first-hand how implementing these tools increases our probability for success!

I believe that mental preparation is what separates the good from the best; after all, …

“what we think, we become!”

I’m available to work with teams, small groups, and individuals to prepare them to be mentally strong and develop individualized programs that will help unlock potential. For more information, you can contact me through email at: wendy@wendydemer.com

Until next time…

The Relationship Between Sleep & Mental Health in the Young Generation

I was recently listening to a podcast, and it really got me thinking about the effects of sleep deprivation on our mental health. We all know that our mental health takes a hit when we’re not sleeping well; this is definitely an issue for me. I have never been the best sleeper. On the days that I haven’t slept, my mental clarity is weak, I have a hard time making decisions, my body aches, I don’t remember things, and I feel cloudy and depressed.

Social media can contribute to anxiety, depression, and sleepless nights. It constantly feeds us information that may or may not make us feel good. It isn’t easy to put our devices down. There have been studies that show, in some cases, that anxiety and depression increase when we’re off social media. This all depends on how you use social media – active vs passive.

Our teens are constantly on their phones. They sleep with them under their pillows, wait for texts, frequently respond to texts, and compare themselves to others. When they sleep with their phones, it definitely affects their sleep patterns. As a result, can negatively impact their mental health.

The best thing we can do for our kids is to not let them sleep with their phones. I think it's extremely healthy for them to be off social media for at least an hour before they go to bed. Teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep per night. Just a little change like this can increase their well-being.

For younger children, it’s important to establish good sleep patterns early on. My children always had a bedtime routine. They went to bed at the same time every night, no matter what was going on. Our schedule revolved around their morning and afternoon naps. Going to the park, shopping, and outings were always scheduled around the naps. I felt it was so important that they had a proper sleep each day. It’s crucial for their development and growth, not to mention their moods!

More than two-thirds of college students have anxiety and depression, and the rates are going up. This was from a study done in 2009, before the pandemic hit. I can only imagine what those numbers are now! The answer has not yet been determined as to what is causing this increase. My feeling is that their perception of what brings happiness is backwards.

Our conception of what makes us happy may be wrong. We all seem to be on the achievement wheel with better grades, more money, a new car, and a bigger house. This applies to our college students as well.

I think to help our college students in this ever-rising epidemic, it’s essential to teach kids early on the benefits of proper sleep and how to change their mindset on what brings us happiness! Happiness comes from social interaction and social connection - not through platforms but from real life. Talking to a stranger on the bus and practicing gratitude are the real things that will provide us more happiness.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re all human, and we can’t be happy all the time; it’s impossible. Our job as humans is to experience life as it comes. This will include a whole gamut of feelings and emotions. To live is to feel!

At the end of the day, sleep is essential for all of us, specifically the young generation. They’re developing in every aspect - cognitively, emotionally, and physically. Their bodies can’t develop properly without proper sleep.

I think this is a baby step that parents and caregivers can implement into the lives of our young ones that could have a huge impact on their well-being! Possibly taking away their phones at bedtime will initiate better sleep patterns. It’s worth a try! What could go wrong?

Until next time…take the phones away at bedtime!!

Supporting the Elderly

In the past few years, there has been a lot of discussion surrounding the mental health of kids, parents, and teachers. We’ve also grown increasingly concerned about the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic and other world catastrophes. Each and every issue we’re facing in today’s world is of the utmost importance, and we should continue to do all that we can to evolve and help in these areas!

It has recently been brought to my attention that there seems to be a demographic covered far less in today’s media and forgotten by many – the aging and elderly.

I often think that our perception of the elderly can accompany negative connotations. We may see them as unattractive, weak, even senile. The society we live in seems to glorify youth, associating it with beauty. Our world values youth over old age and some of us may see the elderly as a burden; because of these stereotypes, we seem to fear growing old.

Growing older has many positive aspects and is a privilege not afforded to all. With age comes wisdom, grace, the freedom to be who you are, and (more importantly) to know who you are. The memories of vacations and each stage of your children’s lives bring so much joy. Retirement allows us to do things we’ve always wanted to try. There are definitely perks to aging. The problem is instead of focusing on these, we focus on the media’s perception of ageism.

Today I wanted to remind my readers of the importance of supporting our elders. With our busy lives, it’s sometimes difficult to remain connected with our parents and grandparents, and often, they become neglected.

From personal experience, I hear the heartache in my parents' voices when I, or my siblings, have not seen or talked to our parents in a while - they miss us terribly! They are so invested in what’s going on in their children and grandchildren’s lives; they just want to remain involved and be a part of it all. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to go from spending every day with your children to not hearing from them for months.

I’ve also spoken with elderly neighbours who live alone and are indeed lonely. When I visit with them, it’s evident how much they miss their children when they haven’t been around for a while. They crave companionship and social interaction.

I have worked with many older people who have shared with me that they don’t want to be a burden to their families. They make excuses for their children’s absence, and the pain in their hearts is palpable.

There are so many things in society that we could work on to enhance the quality of senior’s lives. To begin, it is up to us, their family. It’s important to remember where we came from. Many of our parents sacrificed so much so that we could have a good life. Now, it’s our job to repay them by calling or visiting more. It’s up to us to check in on them, remind them how grateful we are for everything they’ve given us, and remind them how much they are loved! Our presence is the greatest gift we can give!

If you find yourself with a little extra time, volunteer at a senior complex. Just reading to them, playing cards, visiting, or taking them outside for a bit of sunshine can do wonders in every aspect.

My favourite memories from when I worked at a home are the stories from the past. All they endured, the hardships they encountered, and the wars they fought for our freedom is something that should never be forgotten. We shall forever be in debt to them for the paths they paved and the progress they initiated to make the world a better place for us and the generations to come!

Until next time…reach out!

Spring = Energy Renewal

Happy Spring!

With the warmer weather and longer days, I’ve definitely noticed a shift in my energy! It’s so lovely to see the sunlight shining outside while I’m making dinner. Not only do I feel lighter, but my days are more joyful - it’s amazing what sunshine can do! They say laughter is the best medicine, and I totally agree, but the combination of both definitely improves my mental and emotional health!

What does spring mean to you? I love spring! It’s a time for rebirth, regrowth, vibrant colors, and the promise of warmer weather. Spring means BBQ season has arrived, the camping season is near, and summer will soon be knocking on the door.

But, what does spring mean spiritually to us humans? I think, as humans, that every season affects our energy and causes a significant shift. In the winter, we go within and become more introspective. In the spring, we experience a rebirth – physically, spiritually, and emotionally. We are more outwardly focused. Spring is the perfect time for an energetic reboot!

Many of us experience the winter blues - I’m one of them. For those that struggle with this, I encourage you to use the spring energy as an opportunity to upgrade and expand our consciousness.

There are different ways we can work with this energy. Spring is an excellent time to start something new. We can start with spring cleaning, which may lead us to a home refresh. Perhaps you want to start a new hobby!

It’s a beautiful time to enjoy nature and meditate. Meditating in nature helps us connect with this energy and boosts our mood - not to mention it’s a great way to connect with the earth.

Plants and gardening have a magical effect on our energy! Spending time in the garden, nurturing plants through the season, transplanting existing plants, and eating fresh local produce can foster the sense of a fresh start.

As spring is coming alive, the same thing is happening with you! Our spirits are coming alive with hopeful energy. We feel inspired, have fresh ideas, are excited to try new things. It’s important to choose what ideas you want to focus on during this season because spring brings clarity. What do you want to see grow in your life?

Use this season to just have fun! Approach your new ideas and dreams with a light-heartedness and if it calls to you, go for it! And then, look closely at what seeds you want to plant and decide what you want to harvest in the months ahead!

Until next time…spring is in the air!

Writing – a Solitary Life

Writing a weekly blog can definitely be challenging! I sometimes find myself struggling to choose my topic for the week. This week, in particular, has been difficult. Why? I’m not quite sure. Maybe I feel that I’ve covered all the topics where my expertise lies? Or possibly, it’s just one of those days when the thoughts don’t flow fluently and freely.

Whatever the culprit that's responsible for this writer's block, screw you! I’ll continue to show up on the page. As a writer, I have no choice; It’s my calling. One thing I’m sure of - if I don’t write, my anxiety will rear its ugly head, and I will slowly fall into a deep, dark emotional hole. Judging and criticizing myself for not writing, thinking that I’m not good enough, wondering, “what was I even thinking when I decided to become a writer.” I often wonder if other writers experience the same sort of thing?

When I get in this rut, I have to remember the reason I started writing in the first place. For me, it was strictly therapeutic. I’ve been journaling for years as a way to get my thoughts onto the page. I find my day runs smoother and is less overwhelming if I dump my to-do list, worries, and emotions onto the page first thing in the morning. It seems my journal has become my therapist!

When I first started this weekly blog, my intention was to help as many parents and professionals as possible. It has always been my passion to provide children with the tools needed to navigate the jagged shores of life. Although this is all true, at times, this has stolen some of the joy out of my art. I must return to the basics during these times and ask myself, “why do I write?” Is it for others, or is it for me?

I must remind myself that writing should be fun, and I must never lose the fun in writing. It should be a playful art; not strictly business. I must remember, I write because it’s fulfilling!

Writing can be a very solitary life, a lonely endeavor. All we have is our thoughts and imagination to keep us company. Sometimes, my thoughts are not the greatest companion. I used to believe I could do this all on my own. Boy, was I wrong!

Writer’s need like-minded people; a supportive community that includes others to connect with, and to share our passion, our fears, frustrations, and triumphs. We need people who understand what we’re going through, give us constructive feedback, and be our biggest cheerleaders!

I recently discovered that this is what was missing from my life. I’ve been trying to do this all on my own, and I’m craving connection to like-minded individuals. Although there are writing communities on different social media platforms, it’s social media and doesn’t feel like a genuine connection.

So, I did what any lonely writer would do! I started my own writer’s group! Do I know what I’m doing? Not yet… but what could go wrong? It’s all about meeting new people and friends, and finding supportive people who will encourage, inspire, and hold me accountable. I’m beyond excited about our first meeting!

To all you aspiring writers out there, don’t ever stress about if your writing will be awful. The most important thing is to write every day! Some days I look at what I wrote and think, “Wow, did I actually write that? Damn that’s good!” There are other days when I read what I wrote and think, “that’s the worst piece of writing I’ve ever read!” There will be days when your writing will be good, bad, and everything in-between. The most important thing is that you write every day and not worry about the quality! The more you do it, the better you’ll get.

So, to all the lonely writers out there, I’m so proud of you for showing up every day, believing in yourself, and giving us avid readers daily material!

Until next time…write for the fun of it!

Mindfulness Tools

In recent years, mindfulness has definitely become a popular buzzword. I believe it’s much more than just buzzword-it works! It’s been scientifically proven to help with stress, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and substance abuse; this is only to name a few of the issues it can address. Although mindfulness derived from Eastern ideals, it has undoubtedly made its way into the Western world.

What is mindfulness? It’s simply paying attention to your present moment experience; being fully aware of where we are and what we are doing, and being open to our thoughts and feelings with kindness and non-judgement.

When I wrote Empowering our Future, I discovered afterward that cultivating mindfulness was the book's overarching theme. All of the strategies are tools to bring us back to present-moment awareness. When we’re consciously present, we are less likely to feel stress.

My intention was to write a book that would provide parents and professionals with support in helping our youth increase self-esteem and self-love and decrease stress and anxiety. I just wanted to make sure that children have the tools to deal with life’s challenges, which in turn helps build resilient youth. Mindfulness is a key component in doing just that.

We all want our children to be happy, but the reality is they feel sad and worried at times. They feel the same emotions as we do. Our job is to teach them and give them tools to manage these emotions. The best way to do that is to model the use of these tools.

After teaching mindfulness tools both in and out of the classroom for many years, I know how effective they can be to get us to the present moment. They really help children and youth self-regulate and lead a more peaceful life. Here are some ways that you and your children can practice mindfulness together!

1)      Breathing – Practice doing deep belly breaths. When we breathe in deeply, our tummy should expand like a balloon. As we breathe out it should get smaller.

2)      Open your 5 senses to what you’re doing right now – nature is a great way to experience this. Be aware of the sights, sounds, smells, and every step you take.

3)      A mindful jar or bottle – fill a water bottle with water and colorful sparkles. Shake the bottle; the sparkles in the jar are just like our thoughts. If we stop and watch the sparkles settle, so do our thoughts.

4)      Gratitude is an excellent mindful tool – when we think about things we are grateful for, worrisome thoughts and feelings lose their power and take us to the present moment.

5)      Being creative in any way always brings us back to the present moment.

6)      Singing or humming is my favorite activity that portals me back to the present.

It’s very important to remember that children learn more by observing how we act and what we say, than through our words. Therefore, the most important thing we can do is model the use of these tools. When you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, let them see you stop and do belly breaths. Let them hear you expressing gratitude on a daily basis. Express creativity together with activities like painting, writing, singing, and dancing! As always, practicing meditation is the greatest gift we can give our children for so many reasons-including being mindful.

My greatest wish is that all of you find the beauty that the present moment provides.

Until next time…all my love and support

The Month for Self-love

February… For me, it’s the month of love! I love “love!” To say I’m a romantic at heart is an understatement! Yes, I’m the one who watches every Hallmark movie out there. Obviously, we all know how the film will end within the first 5 minutes. Despite this, I cry every time when they get together at the end and share that first kiss! Pathetic…I know!

With February’s weather being unpredictable and bitterly cold, I find it’s the perfect opportunity to snuggle in with a cup of tea and watch my movies! So, why are these movies so addicting? They’re cheesy and predictable! I mean, they usually follow the same recipe. The main character is a successful business-woman returning to her hometown. She ends up falling for a handsome local that helps her realize that the one thing missing from her life is love!

I think we all crave love. When we’re in love, the world truly becomes brighter. The sunrises and sunsets become more radiant; it’s as if we see everything through rose-colored glasses. Physically, we have more energy, our cheeks flush, our hearts race, and we seem to be more positive! On the other side, what about those of us who aren’t lucky enough to have someone in our lives that we can share love with?

It can be awfully lonely being alone. But, it also can be a perfect opportunity to discover things about ourselves. It’s the ideal time to examine what brings us joy and ponder what we want to do with our life. When it’s only us, it can be all about us! This may seem selfish, but we have the chance to do what we genuinely enjoy instead of taking others into consideration!

Most importantly, we can engage in activities that promote self-love. In my experience, if we don’t have self-love, it’s very difficult to love another unconditionally and allow someone to love us for who we truly are.

Self-love is hard work, and it looks a little different for all of us. If you’re uncertain about how to start the process of self-love, here are some ideas for how you can practice it today and every day! Try them, take what works for you, and make them your own!

1.     Start your day by telling yourself something that makes you smile; how lovely you look, praising the way you handled a certain situation - anything that makes you smile.

2.     Exercise, eat healthy food, get a massage, walk, or take a bubble bath.

3.     Turn off the tv, unplug social media, and focus on what you are doing – for 15 minutes be mindful of every moment.

4.     Surround yourself with a community that you value. They’ll keep you on track, and the support and love from people around us is crucial.

5.     DO NOT compare yourself to others on social media - first of all, it doesn’t always tell us the whole story. More importantly, there’s only one you. Focus on yourself and your journey.

6.     Explore your spirituality; this is the foundation for self-love.

7.     Make a “what’s working for me list.” Truly loving ourselves comes from self-acceptance. One step towards self-acceptance, is recognizing the great things that you already have. Once you see it on paper and accept all the positivity in your life, it’ll be easier to love yourself.

8.     Allow yourself to feel things fully – it’ll help you better understand yourself and realize that you are not your feelings.

9.     Notice at least one beautiful, small thing each day and be grateful for it. Gratitude is essential for helping us find joy.

10.  Put yourself first – women have a hard time with this, but it’s crucial that we find what decompresses us and dedicate time to this.

Self-love may not happen overnight - there are no “overnight fixes.” But, with time it will settle itself within your heart and you’ll begin your journey to being the best you! Be patient, remember how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve endured!

Until next time…accept and love yourself!