I know that’s not quite how the saying goes, but ‘happy wife – happy life’ can be a misleading ….my statement is not!
What I do know is that the quality of our life is largely dependent on our thought patterns. Negative vs positive thoughts impact all areas of our lives, including our physical body, mental health, and emotional well-being. It goes like this: we have good-feeling thoughts or bad-feeling thoughts. If we want to know what’s percolating in our minds, just check in with how we feel.
This sounds simple enough, but it’s really not. It takes practice and consistency to become the master of our thoughts. We must be mindful of our thoughts, and this can be difficult because most of us are too busy to be diligent in this process. However, we can start with a quick check-in throughout the day to monitor our thoughts and see where they are. Then, when we identify that we’re having negative thoughts, it’s time to act and tell them to take a hike!
What are some ways that we can do this?
One of the ways to improve negative thoughts is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness assists in helping us identify the destructive words we say to ourselves. It helps us become aware of our thinking process and more aware of our judgemental thoughts. We can practice being mindful by being aware of our senses when we’re walking, through meditation and different breathing exercises, and by practicing gratitude. All these things bring us to the present moment, which is what being mindful is all about. It’s paying attention on purpose.
Another technique for keeping happy thoughts is by using affirmations. We can employ affirmations to help reprogram negative thoughts. The affirmation should be one that you believe. A lot of us fear public speaking. We can get caught up in all the “what ifs,” and this can send us into a downward spiral, and our thoughts begin to spin out of control. One strategy I like to use (because this is a fear of mine) is simply saying the word stop and following up with an affirmation.
Affirmations such as:
I am prepared
I know my stuff
I will help many people
I am enough
I got this
The butterflies in my tummy are a sign that I am ready
Lastly, use deep breaths to break negative thoughts. I use a technique I call centering. Take slow, deep breaths from your abdomen. Then, as you exhale, silently repeat to yourselves, “relax the muscles in my jaw, neck, and shoulders," and feel the muscles relax. Repeat this process five times and follow up with an affirmation. This is an excellent exercise because it can be done anytime, anywhere, throughout your day.
There will be days that these strategies may not work to keep your thoughts happy and positive, and that’s okay. It’s impossible to be happy always, and I don’t think life is supposed to be that way. We must experience the one to know the other. I experience days when I just can’t break negative thoughts, but I keep trying. On those days, ride the waves and see what those emotions are trying to tell you, and never stop trying!
Until next time…happy happy joy joy