With the steady influx of cases, there must be a lot of fear out there. Inevitably, parents once again fear the unknown; this includes their child’s health and safety, and additionally, the possibility of school going online once again.
When you originally signed up for parenthood, it did not include being their school teacher. I empathize greatly with everything that you parents have been through these last couple of years. I just wanted to acknowledge all the parents and caregivers out there who are navigating these unchartered waters with grace, love, and strength. Yes, this includes your bravery for getting back up after you fall! We all fall, experience exhaustion, and are not sure if we can continue on some days, but yet, we rise once again – I commend you all for your strength!
I think it’s crucial to remember that although you’re not trained to be your child’s teacher, you, above anyone else, know your child better than anyone - this accounts for far more than you realize! Yes, sometimes our children don’t listen to us as well as they do to teachers, coaches, or other adults. But, this may not be a bad thing. It means they feel safe, loved, protected, and accepted at home. Let’s face it, we all need a safe place to fall. Our children must have somewhere they can release their emotions, somewhere they can feel everything. Holding all their feelings and emotions in is far more detrimental for their mental and emotional health – it’s actually not healthy for anyone! Let them befriend their emotions and work through them.
When your child comes home from school and has days when they “crash and burn,” let them! This is a healthy release! All we can do is be there for them, listen, and help them work through their emotions. Validate what they’re feeling, “it’s tough, I get it.” Let them know that you’re here for them if they need to talk. We must show them compassion and give them the required space they need until they’re ready to communicate.
Once our children are calmer, we can give them tools that will help them understand and communicate how they’re feeling. Consequently, this will help us gain greater insight into our child’s mind, heart, and actions.
Some of these techniques may include:
· Some form of creative outlet - drawing, writing, painting, music. These are all safe avenues for expression and may help you to understand their thoughts and emotions through the medium.
· Going for a walk together – nature has a way of bringing us to the present and really helps us to feel what needs to be felt. This may open the door for communication. Presence = connection.
· Let their bedtime story be a guided meditation! It relaxes them and helps them to let go of the day’s worries, and then transition them into a peaceful night’s sleep.
· Give them a journal – explain that this is a safe place to write about how they’re feeling. Sometimes just getting it out and onto paper is the only release they need.
· Do some form of exercise together – it is a great way to release stress and build connection.
· We MUST be conscious listeners…put all the electronic devices away to truly hear your child. All children want is to be heard.
I think it’s so important that we respect and accept our child’s “bad days.” We all have them, and they have to live through ours. We also tend to take it out on our children, but they don’t judge us or label us as “bad or misbehaved.” They just allow us to go through the emotions without judgment and continue to love us unconditionally!
I’m teaching a new ‘Empowerment Class’ for children and youth beginning October 18th! Participants will learn many different strategies to manage stress, anxiety, worries, and fear! Additionally, they’ll learn techniques for increasing self-esteem and self-love! I’m very excited to support our parents and children! They say it takes a village, and I strongly believe in working together to support our youth in any way possible!
You can register at wendy@wendydemer.com
Have a fabulous week!!
Until next time…