Raising children is the most challenging job in the world. I think it’s even more difficult in today’s day and age with all the different social media platforms that exist. Even as adults, we can easily start comparing ourselves to others that seem happier, wealthier, more successful, and even more beautiful. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like for kids who are just starting to figure out who they are and how they fit into this messy world.
If we did something embarrassing when we were in grade 8, everyone would laugh, and it was awful, but after a few weeks, everyone moved on. Now if kids do something embarrassing, it could easily be caught on video or Snapchat and shared for months - you can’t escape it. Social media can significantly impact our children’s sense of self-worth and self-confidence.
I’ve worked with kids of all ages for over 20 years. In the latter years, I have noticed more kids suffering from lower self-esteem and self-confidence. It’s also true that some kids naturally have more confidence than others, and we can’t really pinpoint why this is. What I do know is that there are certain things we can teach them to help build their confidence.
The first and most important thing is accepting them exactly as they are. They may not be the musician, hockey player, or a ball player we hoped for. It’s important to remember that maybe that was our dream, not theirs. Every child is unique; that’s their superpower. Our job is to support, accept, and help them to unravel their unique talents.
We should always be mindful of our own self-talk. If we want our children to have positive self-talk, then that’s what we must model. Our kids watch and look up to us; how they think about themselves will depend on how we talk about ourselves. Teach them the power of affirmations!
We must give them a safe environment to talk about their feelings. Let them know how important it is to feel and express these feelings and emotions rather than keep them inside. Then, consciously listen and validate those feelings. We must be allowed to feel to heal!
It’s important to be understanding of their mistakes. Let them know that mistakes are how we learn and grow. They are stepping stones to success! We can even share with them some of the mistakes we have made.
As I said earlier, children model our behaviour. So, if we treat them with kindness and respect, there’s a good chance they’ll treat themselves with that same kindness and respect.
Lastly, we always want to praise our kids’ efforts and accomplishments. Let them know you’re proud of them for how hard they worked or how much effort they put in rather than how high their marks were or how many goals they scored.
Building a child’s confidence can be done! We must do our jobs as parents and nurture respect, accept, validate, and be mindful of our self-talk for our precious little ones.
Lastly, the most important thing we can do is consciously listen to our kids. This means putting down our devices and giving them our undivided attention. This alone will build confidence because they’ll feel important to you because you put down your phone!