Many kids suffer from chronic worrying and feelings of sadness. They think about the hurts of the past or worry about future events. We all want our children to be happy, but they worry about things and experience the full range of emotions as we do. Therefore, our job is to give them the tools needed to help them self-regulate and live a peaceful life.
In my experience with my kids and students at school, I’ve found mindfulness extremely effective in this area. There are various mindfulness tools that I’ve used that help portal kids to the present moment, and this is where we experience the least amount of stress.
First, Mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment experience for whatever it is. This entails our thoughts and feelings, not just our surroundings. We want to feel what we’re feeling and pay attention to what we think.
Breathing exercises are key tools used to relieve worry through present-moment awareness. When we breathe consciously, we regain control of our thoughts and are brought to the present moment. Another term for deep breathing that kids can relate to is belly breathing. Have them place their hands on their belly. Then, get them to breathe in slowly through their nose, fill their lungs up to the top, and imagine their stomach, abdomen, and chest expanding like a giant balloon. On the exhale, they open their mouth and slowly blow all the air back out, letting their belly sink down flat as if deflating the imaginary balloon. Repeat, but the next time, they do it with their mouth closed, breathing in and out through the nose as they feel their belly expanding and shrinking.
Practicing gratitude as a family is an easy way to practice being mindful. Just a couple minutes of being grateful can take us out of our worries and fears and help us to feel better. The big feelings or worried thoughts seem to lose power, and we are taken to the present moment. We can go around the dinner table and have each family member say three things they are grateful for. If kids have difficulty sharing, you can buy them a gratitude journal in which they can write their three things. It can also become a part of their bedtime routine.
Focusing on our five senses is another way to be mindful. It reminds us to open our senses to whatever we are doing right now. When we do this, the past and future thoughts disappear, and we are right here, in this moment. My favourite way to do this is in nature. We can listen to the birds, water tumbling over a stone, the sound of the wind. Pay attention to the beads of dew on grass, the texture of bark on a tree, and the shape and pattern of veins on leaves. Observe the squirrels, deer, or birds in the trees. Use your sense of touch. We can touch the grass, feel the soft silk of flower petals, and run our palms over tree bark. The opportunities to practice mindfulness in nature are endless.
A mindfulness jar is another excellent tool. Fill up a jar with water and colourful sparkles, let the child choose their colors. Have them shake the jar. The sparkles in the jar represent their thoughts. As they are watching the sparkles settle to the bottom it brings them to the present moment and as the sparkles settle, so do their thoughts. Just sitting quietly and watching until the sparkles settle to the bottom will bring them back to the present moment, and this moment, right now, feels good.
Lastly, practicing mindfulness through meditation is the best strategy of all. Meditation brings us to the present moment and has so many other amazing benefits. I have free audio meditations available at www.wendydemer.com
Kids model our behaviour and learn best through observation, so let them witness us practicing belly breaths, sitting silently in meditation, reciting gratitude, and opening our senses.
Until next time…peace and love coming at you!